Project 31: Day 4 Rescheduled

Why would I reschedule a day?  Well, Day 4 calls for me to post a picture of my favorite outfits.  Here is a list of why this is a dilemma:

1.  I just had a baby a few months ago, my favorite outfits fit but certainly not in the way they did before so I have to rethink this "favorite" stamp before placing it on any clothing lately.
2.  It's almost 9 PM and I haven't showered since last night.  There, I said it.  Don't judge.  I can promise you will too once you're a mom of a little one OR if you are already at this same place in life I am willing to bet that it may be even longer since your last shower.  :-)
3.  I have an interview later this week, so I will look decent that day...maybe not my favorite outfit, but I will look presentable.  (Oh, and no I'm not going back to work but I am excited about the prospect of spending a few hours a week working OUTSIDE of the house while Emory is with Phillip.  I started a tutoring position this morning and the interview is for an additional one!  Yay!!!  I get my educational fix, I get to help sweet kids, AND it gives me a reason to get dressed in the morning!  I did look decent today until the baby spit up all over me and the dogs tracked dirt in the house (ruined my pants by cleaning that up).  So no, you don't want to see me at the moment.)  Prayers are appreciated!  So far, I really like this gig.

Here's a picture from yesterday.  It's just me in my normal garb and my FAVORITE accessory.  ;-)

He is SO much cuter than any purse I could ever buy!

Sweet Potato Monster!

As it turns out, the beginning of October in our house begot the cultivation of a little monster.

We started sweet potatoes this week.  Our Little Man LOVES his sweet taters (further proof that the child is EXACTLY like his Daddy).

Emory is still spitting up (I hope this subsides once we pass the 6 month milestone), so we have to put him down with LOTS of padding underneath.  Somehow, this still leaves us changing sheets once a day.

We put him down this weekend and he woke up from a nap fairly early and fussy (unusual).  I went in to check on him, and when I rolled him over I almost hit the floor laughing.  Every time I've pictured this scene in my head since that moment I die laughing all over again.  For this is what I encountered as I rolled our sweet boy over:

Beware of the sweet taters!

This is his "Mommy, I am NOT amused" face. 

I hope you are laughing as hard as I am at this moment.

P.S. - Don't you love this shirt?  My sister got it for him.  Thanks Aunt Kasey!

"I love my mummy!"  So cute!

Project 31: Day 3

Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?

This one is difficult for me to answer because I feel incredibly blessed to be surrounded by precious individuals that have made so many positive impacts on my life.  I grew up with a great family.  We had our issues like any other family, but at the end of the day we were there for each other.  I was blessed to see lasting love and companionship in all of the relationships that meant the most in my life.  

When I married Phillip I was thrown into a family much bigger and closer than my own.  There are pros and cons to this as well, but boy do they love each other!  I told Phillip once a few years ago that when I married him I got not one, not two, not three, but essentially FOUR mother-in-laws.  His mama is the best, and you better bet she loves her son.  She would do anything for us.  Now that I've had Emory, I have to say that the mother/son bond is beyond anything I could ever describe.  Then there was Grandma Taylor.  I know families aren't suppose to play favorites, but ask anyone in Phillip's family who Grandma loved the best and they will say Phillip.  I'm not sure why, but he was the go-to guy.  She adored that boy.  It literally broke his heart the day she passed away.  Phillip was also raised in part by Ms. Miriam, his best friend's mom.  Heavens bless her heart!  I just know from dealing with Phillip and Christopher as adults that I would have lost my mind looking after them as teenagers.  She and Mr. McNair welcomed Phillip into their family as one of their own, and I have all suspicions that this completely changed his life.

Lastly, there's Aunt Diane.  She is someone that I think of when I hear the word beauty.  There are so many reasons why I ADORE this woman.  She's the first person in Phillip's family that I developed a close relationship with.  She's been our gracious hostess for 6+ years now when we visit Florence (and when we come so does ALL of our baggage...baby, dogs, most of our house, and occasionally college friends of mine).  She has such a warm, welcoming spirit with everyone she encounters.  

You see, Aunt Diane has Lupus.  There have been MANY days when we've been down there when she will kill herself cooking for their entire extended family all the while feeling miserable.  If there is anyone I can think of that epitomizes the servant's heart persona it's her.  She never complains, she loves her family, her door is always opened, AND (get this) despite the troubles that come her way she remains an optimist. 

I want to be like this! I am nearly always concerned when how I look or how my house will be perceived.  She isn't.  She keeps a clean house, but she doesn't fret over the small stuff.  She puts herself together, but doesn't obsess over clothing or appearances.  She certainly didn't have a great year in 2010, but she never let it alter her mood because tomorrow would come and bring a brighter times.  Let's just say she's a far cry from this self-admitted whiner and pessimist extraordinaire! 

There is no way I could adequately sing her praises, but to say that she's an inspiration is a start.  I pray I am open enough to allow the Lord to cultivate a servant's heart in me half as rich as Aunt Diane's.  She inspires beauty.

Who inspired beauty in your life?

Project 31: Day 2

Is it bad that I'm beyond exhausted and I just had a whole weekend of being in town?  I'm about to fall asleep as I'm posting, but I am determined to make this Project 31 thing last.  So kind readers, if you will pardon any grammatical errors I will attempt to answer Day 2's question.

What makes you uniquely you?

This one is a doozie!  I am not sure where to start, but I know the first word that comes to mind is "honest."  Now, this is both a negative and a positive thing.  You see honesty is good, but I've learned (the hard way) that delivery and timing are key.  So while someone may appreciate a candid individual, I'm sure they appreciate them much more when they have focused on the words they are relaying their message with as much as the message itself.  I've gotten better, but there is still a ways to go on this one.

Here are some of the pros:

• Christian - I am not ashamed of the fact that I was born and raised in the Bible Belt, but in no way did this automatically baptize me into the Christian world.  I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was younger and grew up trying to learn more about Him.  I will say that my collegiate years did a lot for me in the way of shaping how I individually dealt with and approached the subject of faith.  The convictions I have regarding my faith resulted from hours and hours of devotional time and incessant praying.  I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be, but I now feel grounded in my beliefs.
• Wife/Mother - I think this goes without saying, but I thought one boy had changed me more than I ever could/would.  Then this little 6 pound 12 ounce bundle of love came along and threw my world for a loop.  Let's just say that without these two I wouldn't be a portion of the woman I am today.
• Family - Phillip and I both come from close families.  We were blessed to be raised with not only our nuclear family, but our grandparents were never far.  During the summers we would get to go to work with my parents.  We would deliver plants to all the florist in North and South Carolina.  My granddaddy worked with my dad for a while.  So every day we'd either get to ride with one of them.  We had to unload trucks full of plants from Florida.  We had to keep the house clean.  We did a lot of stuff when we were little, but from what I can remember we had fun learning how to work.  My dad and I were talking recently and he said that if there was one thing my sisters and I should be able to say of him and they way we were raised around their business, it is that we walked away with true work ethic...and we did.  We knew that greenhouses were hot and humid, but if we wanted money before we could drive and go get a job we had to work there.  We plan on raising Emory the same way.  I would love to give him everything he has ever wanted, but that's not healthy nor is it realistic.  We want him to work for it.  Something tells me that he'll thank us for it later.  
• Hospitable/Caring - I've always been fairly good about doing what I can to help other people.  My goal lately is to not focus so much on the size of my house or how nicely it's decorated.  Instead, I want to be a good steward of what the Lord has given us.  I want to open my home to friends and family ANYTIME.  Previously, I would have apologized had my house not been spotless.  Not now.  Here's my story: I'm a mom of a 5 month old, I have 2 dogs, a lack of sleep, and a 30 year old husband who, despite his best efforts, keeps getting lost on the way to the hamper.  Will you see a fur ball?  Maybe.  Will I look gorgeous?  Probably not.  Will Phillip's uniforms ever all be corralled properly?  Not likely.  I realized I had hang ups with all of these things.  Why?  I learned a lot from Phillip's grandma when she was alive.  One of those things is that the time you can spend with friends and family is time you can't get back.  Those fur balls will be there later, my guests (if they truly love me) won't mind if I don't have my hair fixed and I'm running around in yoga pants, and Phillip's uniforms can all be wrangled in once I've seen that my guests are cared for and had a nice visit.  In fact, I'm starting a Bible study for ladies this Thursday.  This is a big step for me because I am 99.9% sure that there is no way my house will look presentable.  I don't care.  It's about the fellowship and growth in Christ, not my presentation.

Now for the not so pretty side of things:

• OCD - I wish I were kidding, but I'm not.  I think Emory is going to break me of this.  My house is already driving me nuts and he's not even mobile.  I'm too tired to relentlessly check outlets and light switches.  I am so thankful for help folding towels that I don't even care if they are not stacked properly in the closet.
• Stressed/Worried - I think this goes without saying for any woman, but almost anything that could trouble a person troubles me.  I wish it weren't the case, but it is.  Heavens help me when Emory is a teenager.  I'm gonna bubble wrap the child.  I've learned recently that when those worried and stressors come up to take that as a sign from the Lord and pray for peace.  Sometimes I have to pray about a specific thing several times a day, but the momentary peace is completely worth it.
• Cynical - I think this has yielded the sarcasm in me, but it's true.  I am such a pessimist.  I always expect the worst from a person.  I trust NO ONE.  Perhaps that's why I'm fairly self-sufficient, but it doesn't lend itself to healthy relationships. 

I'm sure there is more, but I am about to pass out as I am typing.  What makes you unique? 

Project 31: Day 1

A few weeks ago I posted about a blog that I love to follow and the challenge she made to fellow bloggers to complete Project 31.  Today completely got away from me (big surprise), but I'm hoping this project will cause me to stretch and grow beyond my normal comfort level.

The challenge for Day 1 is to describe what beauty means to you.  Now, had someone asked me this question 10 years ago I probably would have picked up the latest issue of some magazine and pointed to a stick figured Hollywood icon with her perfect hair and boney cheekbones.  She'd be a far cry from my 5'5" plump, Southern-fed, double-chinned self.  I have to say that three big things changed the way I describe beauty now: going to college at Meredith, the man I married, and the birth of our son.

Meredith College did a lot for me.  I went in as a timid, quiet freshman with my fair share of body image issues.  I came out four years later as an articulate, well-educated, confident young woman.  I didn't care if I had a boyfriend or if I looked perfect that day.  However, I was (and still remain) a firm believer that pearls go great with your fanciest dress or your dingiest yoga pants.  (Motherhood has yielded more days of dingy rather than fancy.)  Don't get me wrong, I didn't walk out perfect but I learned that I had a voice and it was worth something.  My opinions, though they may not be shared by all, should be valued.  I was encircled by a phenomenal group of women.  We laughed together, shared one another's burdens, and developed into young ladies as a unit.  This is beauty.

This may not seem beautiful to you, but to anyone that spent four pivotal years at Meredith College this is the epitome of beauty.

Graduation day!

Next, there's that man of mine.  Oh brother!  He has totally changed the way I view beauty.  I had a relentless struggle with body image, even after my MC days.  We started dating and the boy would never compliment me.  I was wondering what was wrong with him.  I did it all right.  I had the Ann Taylor dresses, my cutest purse, my hair and make up was perfect and nothing!  Then I threw on a pair of jeans, left my hair curly, and frumped it up by going au naturale, and THEN he wouldn't shut up about how gorgeous I looked.  Seriously?!  This has ended up being one of the most endearing things about our relationship (and came in quite handy when I was too sick during pregnancy to put effort into the way I looked).  You see I always dated guys that knew I was smart, but I never dated one that truly loved me for what I was on the inside.  He knows I'm opinionated, brutally honest, and stubborn as a mule, but he loves me for it.  Phillip doesn't mind if I don't put effort into the way I look one day.  All he cares about is that I feel loved and our son is cared for and loved on.  I think marriage vows should have a clause somewhere in between "for better or for poorer" and "in sickness and in health" that says, "on frumpy days and on glam days."  That is beauty.

This is probably curly at it's craziest.  He loves me still.

Most recently beauty was redefined by our sweet Emory.  There truly is no way to describe the love a parent automatically has for their child.  It is a simple, deep, pure love.  I don't know that there is a thing Emory could ever do to break that bond.  I am sure I will have days of disappointment and exhaustion in being his mother, but he has developed in me a love that is everlasting.  He has shown me the beauty of God.  If God's love for me is half of what mine is towards Emory then I'm blessed beyond measure.  I have always been a fairly guarded person.  I found it easiest to not allow people the opportunity to hurt you, so I built walls.  I told Phillip recently that I am overjoyed with my job as Emory's mother, but I'm scared to death that one day my heart will be crushed.  The "what ifs" that run through your mind as a parent are constant.  Elizabeth Stone said it best, "Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."  Emory truly is just that, my heart.  I think this exposed vulnerability and eternal adoration for another human being is beautiful.  The journey to true beauty began long before Emory, but he literally was the nail in my superficial coffin.  I can't believe I am going to post the picture below, but I think it's telling.  I am not a fan of the way I look anymore, but when I see the stretch marks I am reminded of two years fighting to conceive and one very long, difficult pregnancy and when I look at my surgical scars I remember that I made it through 6+ months of hell to bring my child into this world safely and as healthy as possible.  That is beauty.

Granted, this was taken in May and a little over a month after Emory's birth.  Some of the stretch marks have faded, but some are still there.  The scars from the surgery are quite prominent.  It's ok because I have a beautiful baby boy.  They are the story of our journey to him.

He was worth every tear drop, every prayer, and every ounce of pain...and SO much more.

Perhaps this Project 31 gig may reveal too much, but I've always been a fairly candid person.  My goal is to grow along the journey this next month, and the only way for me to do that is to be completely honest.  I hope you recognize all the beauty in your life. (Hint: You always find it in the small things.)