As a Wife - I would be lying if I said that I didn't think about fibbing a little on this one. I think everyone likes to portray their marriages as "perfect," but let's be honest it's two people working together to make a family. There are bound to be moments of strife.
Having a baby changes everything. I don't think I can say that enough. I don't mean this in a bad way, but Phillip went from being my top priority to somewhere on my top five after Emory, housewife duties, washing spit up off me, etc. Want to know where skewed priorities send a marriage? Onto the roller coaster of disconnectedness. That's largely why we started Project 52.
I would find myself getting so frustrated with things that Phillip would do or say that wouldn't normally have bothered me. None of that is Phillip's fault necessarily, it's my short fuse from over-extending myself. So I'm learning to prioritize and hold my tongue (some days are better than others). Patience is a virtue I've never ever possessed and I'm convinced that the Lord is using this season in my life to teach me how to become an patient person.
As a mama - Holy moly I could write a book. Most importantly, I'm learning how to love in an unconditional way. I'm convinced that the love a parent possesses for their child is the closest we can ever come to understanding how much God loves us.
I also have a HUGE problem with control. Guess what you can't control with a baby? ANY and EVERYTHING! From being on time for church to missing lunch dates because someone is teething and not suitable for a public appearance. I can't control whether he gets sick or whether he's 100% healthy. I can try my hardest, but there are things that will happen in Emory's life that are simply going to have to be placed in the Lord's hands. Granted they are great and mighty hands, but for some reason I keep trying to think mine are better. How foolish of me! This is where I'm beginning to learn the power of prayer!
Lastly as a mom, the good Lord is continuing this lifelong lesson of relinquishing worry into His hands. I am an admitted professional worrier. Seriously, vacations usually have to be kept to fairly short half-week increments because I start to visualize our house up in flames with our precious pups inside or the cat turning on a water faucet and flooding the entire place. Having a baby only made those fears exponentially worse. I've gotten better about leaving Emory. In fact, I just accepted a job working a whole 4 hours a week. So I'll be leaving Emory with a babysitter for 3 hours for two days a week! True progress for me! Not to mention, Phillip and I booked a trip to The Homestead for our anniversary. Luckily, Emory has a super awesome Grammy Harris that will be coming up to stay with him for the four days we're away. I'm sure it will kill me to leave him, but I know he's in fantastic hands.
Progress is a-brewin' in this household and the Lord's the one stirring the pot! What's our sweet Jesus teaching you in your life???
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