New Year's Resolutions

I hate New Year's resolutions!  Just thought I should lay that out there.  With that being said, I decided that instead of slapping a bunch of rules up to taunt me for the next few months (until I ultimately give up), that I would make a list of goals to live by.

1. Become a better me!  You see the picture above?  It's me in my element.  Crazy husband. Check.  Precious baby.  Check check.  Sense of humor to boot.  Check check check.  Emory has changed our lives in so many wonderful ways.  He was the catalyst to a better me.  I simply do not have time to worry about a lot of the minor things I previously spent a whole lot of time hung up on.  When something doesn't go the way I plan, I shrug, laugh, and try again next time.

Now, that's not to say that I don't have my days.  I do!  There are days that I literally almost lose it.  I have put Emory in his crib (post-reflux issues), scrubbed a floor or couch or dog (whomever or whatever the subsequent victim may have been), all the while bawling my eyes out.  It's exhausting.  Phillip doesn't get home until 1:30 AM.  I have no one to share the responsibility with.  He works 10+ hour days, so he has enough to worry about.  Instead of crying next time, I hope I can put Emory on the floor with me.  Maybe give him his own scrubbing brush!  :-)

• Volunteer more for causes that are near to my heart.
• Open my home to others.  I already host Bible study once every other week, but I need to welcome friends into our home and not fret over whether the baby will puke on them or if the dogs are barking a little too much.  
• Read more.  I love reading, but having Emory has taken this hobby to an all-time low.  
• Take time for me.  Even if it's just a bubble bath at 1 AM, it's better than vacuuming until 2 AM.  Or a quick pedicure can do wonders for the soul!  Even a hot cup of tea or coffee is enough of a cause for pause.

2. Start and stick to a PCOS diet!  No, I'm not starting a diet for weight.  About six months ago, I had an appointment with my OBGYN.  She asked about our plans for other children.  I told her that prior to discovering my infertility issues, Phillip and I both wanted five kids.  Granted, we realize that's a little crazy and in no way are we willing to go through what we had to go through to get Emory four more times!  However, she stated that she wanted us to try for six months on our own and then come back to her to start treatments again if we weren't able to conceive.

My problem is that I don't want treatments again.  I still have a strong (VERY strong) desire for many more children, but Phillip even said that it just isn't worth all of the sacrifice.  We are so thankful for Emory, AND I WOULD GO THROUGH ALL OF THE HELL I LIVED THROUGH TEN MORE TIMES FOR HIM ALONE!  However, we took a step back and evaluated the cost physically, emotionally, and mentally.  It's incredibly taxing!  I spent 2 years on hormones, fertility drugs, diabetic medication (they assist with PCOS), 9 months with hyperemesis, and 6 months (extremely pregnant) with gallstones that eventually impacted the function of my liver.

I have been trying to steal some extra time to research PCOS and my other condition, adenomyosis.  While there isn't much I can do about the latter, I CAN make some changes and pray they suit my body well.  PCOS diets range from rawism to vegan to Paleo.  Now, with my gallbladder I could barely digest red meats.  Since it's removal, I simply can't do much of anything in the way of meat.  So the Paleo diet is out.  Not to mention it was a little far fetched for me, but I think it would suit Phillip perfectly!  I decided to give up my beloved Diet Dr. Peppers in December.  Granted, I still have an occasional drink, but I'm trying to largely stick to water.  My other goal is to keep my carbohydrate intake to less than 80g a day.  It's times like this that I wish I had a nutritionist walking beside me all day long.  I have started eating more things raw.  I was always a fan of salads, so that's not incredibly hard.

I hope to stick to this for a long while.  If nothing has changed within the next 6 months, I'll consider medical intervention.  I'm just praying this makes the difference that I need.  PCOS is a huge indicator for future Type 2 Diabetes patience.  My dad and grandfather both have it.  Both are actually underweight and very active, so it's not a lifestyle thing for them.  I just hate the idea of being medicated at a later date.  So maybe I can do something now to alter my fate a bit!

3. Make our marriage a priority in my life.  How terrible does that sound?  If I'm being honest, it needs to be said.  Our lives literally revolve around Emory.  I never understood why people with children never found time for one another.  NOW I DO!  No wonder the divorce rate is so high.  When the kids skip off merrily to college, the parents sulk into divorce court because somewhere over the course of the last 18 years they lost sight of one of the most important aspects of their lives.

I don't want to be a statistic.  This past December we were due to go away for our anniversary.  I couldn't do it.  I still can't!  Aside from leaving Emory for an emergency cholecystectomy, I have been with him every day.  I'm pretty sure had they allowed me to bring a five week old into surgery with me, I would have. 

Truth is though, I've totally lost sight of our marriage and what it needs to look like in order to flourish.  It's not fair to Phillip.  It's not fair to me.  If I'm being real honest, it's not fair to Emory either.

                               
4. Revisit our budget.  Several years ago Phillip picked up this book by Dave Ramsey.  It was amazing how much this changed his perception of money!  He was always one of the boys with lots of big, expensive toys.  This book helped immensely!

Obviously, Emory has altered our budget.  My plan was a breastfeed for the first year, thereby saving money on formula.  WRONG!  Since my surgery, the amount of fat in my milk greatly diminished, so formula is now a household staple.  Thank the Lord for friends that send Similac coupons to me.  (It's like Christmas when I open the mailbox!)  Diapers!  Oh heavens at the amount of diapers!  I have determined that we have an awkwardly shaped child.  There are some that work well and others that are a complete bust.  Good news is that we have figured out what works.  Bad news is that it still cost money.  We started a college fund for him when he was two weeks old.  Since then, we've had money automatically drafted from Phillip's weekly checks going into his account. 

We also need to worry more about us.  I'd like to eventually buy land somewhere around here.  I'd like to save up so we don't have to borrow in order to do that.  I'd also like to be able to give to others when they are in need.  I'd love to sponsor a child through Compassion International or World Vision and watch them grow!  I don't want to serve money, but rather to use it in service to others more often.

PRAY WITHOUT CEASING!

5. Have a more intentional and purposeful prayer life.  That sounds so cliche, but it's true.  I can post as many videos as I want depicting Emory's love for his bedtime prayers, but when it gets to that portion of my day I am more likely to pass out during my prayer than I am to finish it!  I read my devotional every day, but lately I've been wondering what I'm doing to apply it.  The Bible promises that if we pray with intention and faith that the Lord will answer our prayers, He will do just that.  He may not answer them the way we expect/want, but He will answer.

Those are my "resolutions" for this lifetime.  :-)  What are yours?