Lessons in Diapering

This weekend we kept our friends' son, Gavin.  We had him a couple of times before, but never overnight.  He woke up from nap while I was cleaning, so Phillip was kind enough to take up the task of changing his diaper.  Little did I know, Phillip had no previous experience in diapering.  Apparently, he never had to help change his nieces' diapers. 

I entered the room while Phillip was examining the diaper as if it just fell out of an alien spacecraft.  The conversation below quickly followed suit:

Phillip: How can you tell the difference between the front and the back?
Kristin: The tabs always go on the back, hun.
Phillip: Oh, I think I put his diaper on backwards the last time he was here.

Poor Gavin.  At least he's providing us with the experience that we need.  Granted, I do have a very unfair advantage over Phillip.  I have been a nanny since ... well as long as I can remember.  I am sure we are in for a world of fun!

Woundings

I get several devotionals sent to me on a daily basis.  Here's a portion of one from this morning from Ransomed Heart Ministries:

The battles God calls us to, the woundings and cripplings of soul and body we all receive, cannot simply be ascribed to our sin and foolishness, or even to the sin and foolishness of others. When Jesus and the disciples were on the road one day, they came upon a man who had been blind since birth. "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents?" they asked him. "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." And with that, Jesus spat on the ground, made some mud to place on the man's eyes, and healed him (John 9:1-7).

I am starting to see how much God wants me to hear Him.  It's the messages in the small places.  Comforting.

"If we cannot believe God when circumstances appear against us, we do not believe Him at all." ~Charles Spurgeon

Many people have commented lately that I need to post an update on our blog.  I contemplated deleting the blog all together, but I knew that wouldn't work because we have so many family and friends that are scattered about.  I wanted to get to a place where I could make some changes and be at peace about sharing some of what has been happening in our lives.  If you have access to our blog at this point, it's because we truly cherish our relationship with you and believe that you can/will share in this journey.

We intend for our blog to take a slightly different path than the "superficial" one we've been traveling on these past few years.  We will continue to post about our adventures with our pups, traveling, and families.  However, we also want to begin sharing some news and prayer requests on here.  There are currently a handful of people that are aware of our situation, but we want to keep as much of this between close personal friends as possible.  We thank you all in advance for your faithful companionship and your diligent prayers.  We know God is working behind the scenes.  Here's our story...

A little over a year ago we took our first steps towards beginning a family.  We decided that since I was still in graduate school, the situation could play out in any manner and it would essentially fit our schedule.  We were so excited about the prospects (and we still are, in a different way).

To make a very long story short, we have spent the past year and a half trying to conceive.  Much to our dismay and disappointment it has yet to happen.  We were not aware of this at the onset of this expedition, but apparently after a couple has spent a year attempting to conceive and their efforts prove futile that couple is labeled "infertile."  (There's a word you never want to hear!)  Thus began our heart wrenching path down this roller coaster called Infertility.  Anyone that truly knows me can attest to me complete infatuation and adoration when it comes to children.  I think their innocence and zeal for life is intoxicating.  Often times, I look at them and wish to have their same faith.  Phillip is wonderful with children.  Seeing him with our nieces makes my heart smile.  He's such a loving person.  With the utterance of "infertile" many of those dreams were crushed.

We were aware that something was awry.  Most couples are able to conceive within 6 months.  I promised to be honest if I announced this, so here goes... I became very depressed about the whole situation.  I never thought I would have my faith tested the way that it has been.  Honestly, for a long while, I stopped praying (and still at times find it difficult).  How do you pray when you can't conjure the words?  How do you pray when you feel so guilty about being bitter towards God?  How do you pray for something you want so badly knowing that if you leave it in the Lord's hands and He says "no" then your life will never be the same?  The questions began to drown my thoughts. 

I never let Phillip come with me to appointments, but at my last one I told him that I couldn't do it alone anymore (and he never expected me to, but my refusal prevented his previous presence).  He came with me and the doctor spoke to both of us quite candidly.

Dr. Sal (LOVE her) explained to Phillip that I have two different "diseases" so to speak.  Given one of these alone we could conceive without intervention, but it would take much longer.  Since I have both, conception alone is impossible.  I had been diagnosed with Adenomyosis when I was in college, but at that time all it meant to me was that I had severe pain.  During and after college, I was hospitalized with ovarian cysts on several occasions.  I have since been diagnosed with Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome.  Essentially, my 26 year old body keeps trying to kick me into menopause.  Nice right?  (Phillip likes the hot flashes, he gets to keep the house on 65!)

She gave us the option of trying one more round of fertility drugs, but if this did not work we had to go to the local fertility specialist here in Charlotte.  We just completed that last round of drugs.  Now we're holding out a little bit of hope for what could happen next.

We have no idea what the Lord has in store for us.  We are both trying to remember that this has happened for a reason.  We will attest that it has made our marriage stronger than we ever imagined possible.  I have a husband that gets up with me when I am sick at night, comforts me when I'm distraught and in tears, makes me laugh when I can't find anything to be joyous about, and most of all constantly reminds me that God has an ultimate plan for us and our desire to be parents.  I have felt incredibly guilty about everything (despite having no control over the situation), but Phillip has been so diligent in his support and love. 

We would love it if you would just keep us in your prayers.  Our next appointment is at the end of July.  We want the Lord to have His will in our lives.  We know that He will use us in a way that will surpass all of our expectations.  Phillip and I thank you in advance for all of your support.  (Mason and Gracie do too...they can't wait for more family!)

(I just realized these pics make the pups look pitiful.  No worries, both were just bored.)

Florida Vacation: The Finale

On our last full day in Florida, we decided to devote our time to St. Augustine.  We loved the drive down A1A.  It takes a bit longer, but it's so nice and peaceful.  

It was insanely toasty this day.  We walked the entire time. We didn't really plan it that way, but just decided to keep trucking instead of finding our vehicle.  These are the city gates.  They don't seem to be in this picture, but in all actuality they are quite large.  

Not far past the city gates is the oldest wooden schoolhouse in the nation.  (Pictured above.)  We had so much fun laughing at everything on this compound.  

My husband is a perpetual child.  If there is a bell, button or whistle that can make noise, he will capture the opportunity and enjoy it to the fullest extent.  This was right up his ally.  It even had a sign that said to ring it.  Another gentleman from the back of the school started laughing and said he was glad that someone's wife let him play.  Bless his heart.  

...and they think that we are tough on kids today.  I only wish these were still employed.

...and then there was a dungeon.  Really it's just an alcove under the stairs, but they actually used it as a type of "time out" during the school day.  

Phillip's mom bought us a new camera before our trip.  We loved it.  We played with the macro settings a lot!

We visited a lot of places in St. Augustine.  It's a big place to try to conquer in a day, but we did our best.  Here's one of the places.  It's the oldest house in the nation.  

This is the kitchen from the house.  It had a really nice courtyard.  We enjoyed looking around, but I declared at this location that I would have been a terrible woman.  Wool...in those houses...in that heat (and humidity).  Can we say HECK NO?

So we have taken a liking to lighthouses lately.  I think their symbolism is powerful.  If we are near one, we will climb it.  There was a storm brewing when we pulled up here, but we went in and asked if they were still allowing guests up.  They said that we should hurry.  Sure, no prob, we'll run up a lighthouse.  Ok I don't know about what everyone else did in high school, but our P.E. teachers believed in stadium runs.  This is the only thing comparable (and much worse) than stadium runs.  The lighthouse has windows on both sides.  Going up was amusing.  On the west side there was no air blowing in, on the east it felt like the old fans my parents had to keep their greenhouses cool.  About halfway up you could feel the swaying and the wind was really whipping.  We got to the top and they said, "Sorry folks!  It's closed until the wind dies down.  We're getting readings of 50 mph."  We look at one another, take a deep breath, and with shaky knees, we headed down.  We got down, looked around the keepers house, and then they announced we could go back up.  HA!  We were willing and we could have made it back up, but coming down the stairs would have never happened.  So they kindly gave us a rain check and we headed back up A1A. 

Phillip reading the memorial bell under pretty trees.

Phillip and I spent our last night walking on the beach.  We like to search for crabs.  Phillip found some!

These are two of the little ones.  The first few were in a fight.  

Meredith is petitioning for this picture to be used as our Christmas card.  Befitting.  

Did I mention that we loved the macro on this camera?  Our rings on the beach and part of our hotel in the back.

Florida, we would like to thank you for our very hot, very enjoyable beach vacation!

Florida Vacation: Part II

We finally made it to SeaWorld.  We spent 9 hours walking around this place and still didn't see all there was to see.  It was CRAZY hot, but we had such a great time!

Phillip liked the sharks...a lot.

  We loved the shows.  Highly recommend them!

 

We also got to feed and pet the dolphins.  I think this was probably our favorite part. Phillip loved seeing me touch a fish for the first time.

 

 

This picture is slightly unclear, but if you look behind the mother there is a 12 day old baby!  So precious!

 

The day after SeaWorld we gave our feet a rest and took up horseback riding on the beach.  Then we got really lazy and just lounged.  The water was really clear and cool where we rode, so it made for a fun day!

We loved some of the decor on the streets of Atlantic Beach! 

There are so many great restaurants all within walking distance of our hotel (sign pictured below).  We decided to go to The Sun Dog Cafe.  According to Meredith, this place was featured on Food Network's Dives Diners and Drive-Ins.  I was skeptical, but oh my heavens, it was amazing!  I detest almost any type of seafood, but this place made the most amazing flounder and steamed veggies.